Fix

Walking down
The empty street
Cold wind blowing
Dirty calloused feet
Step on step
They walk around
Seeing nothing
In life profound
Only wanting
One more fix
How’d I end up
In this mix?

Chasing Her

With every prick
A new low
Never the high
You used to know

A painful tear
Before the numb
Wishing an end;
To finally succumb

Then the slip
And fade to gray
Lady H
Has come to play

Fogging your mind
Emptying your soul
With every whisper
She takes her toll

It hurts to think
What you’ve lost
In the end
What was the cost

For all of those
Happy highs
Were they worth
The painful lies?

Three Years

Today marks the third anniversary of this blog. It has been a long, strange and often challenging experience to post daily for these past three years. I am still up in the air as to whether I will continue to write daily. For now, until I decide, I guess I will keep at it. Thank you all for your constant support and dedicated reading. Without the feedback, this blog would not have made it this long. With over 1000 posts, and 1500 comments, I must say that you truly are what drives me to continue this project. Now let me leave you with a poem (totally unrelated to this event):

Addict
The Blond wisp
Of her haggard hair
Rotting around
The grey line
Of her jowl-less jaw
The faint feel
Of her freckle-less face
The empty eyes
Drooping deep within
The misplaced mouth
With its gangrenous grin
Begging for a fix
Far too thin
The killer cackle
From her choked up chest
As her soft smoke
Billows and blows
Dearest death
Sits still and silent
Waiting to suddenly strike
Eliminating this waste
Of a once normal life.

Pin Hole

A pin hole;
Small, round, dark.
A prick;
Suddenly there.
Then it grows.
Out, and out, and out
Creating a want
A desire
A primitive need
To close it.
To fill it.
To make it gone.
But no matter what
Is put in that hole,
It only tears the edges
Expanding it;
Until one day,
It reaches the point
Of consumption.

Abuse

Shot by shot
My brain does rot
Drink by drink
I need to think
Sip by sip
I begin to slip
Beer by beer
I lose my fear
Glass by glass
I meet a lass
Puff by puff
My voice so rough
Toke by toke
My life’s a joke
Cut by cut
It’s finally shut.

A Drowning

I’m lost.
Completely without direction.
No idea where to go.
Swimming in circles.
Looking for shore.
Drowning.
Drowning.
Sinking slowly.
Sickly feeling.
Stomach turning.
A constant urning.
A need.
Oh I need.
It’s not a want.
It’s more.
I don’t know why.
I don’t know why.
I’m so sore.
Every bit hurts.
Right down to my soul.
I hide it well.
But they all know.
It’s back.
With a vengeance.
Fighting me.
From inside.
Ripping.
Tearing.
Scratching.
Biting.
Taking flesh.
Turning it to decay.
I cannot stay away.
I need.
Oh how I need.
The water’s of death.
Will drown me soon.
If I don’t drop this needle.
In this spoon.
How I wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
Praying to God.
Praying to Satan.
Praying to anyone.
Who will actually listen.
Make it stop.
Please make it quit.
The water is rising.
Far too quick.
I can’t get out.
My hand reaches.
One final grasp.
Then slowly.
Then surely.
My fingers slip.
Below the surface.
And a final surge.
Some bubbles.
Then silence.
Still water.
Still life.
As all fades.
Black.

The Struggle

A pain.
Felt far below the surface.
Reminiscent.
So many nights passed.
More to come.
Never fully comprehending.
The truth.
Swallowed in utter completeness.
Never true.
When the mind’s fog is thick.
The drug.
A solution to all the problems.
Except death.